Its Music Video Friday!!!

Going to California in a cubicle.

The Correct Spelling of Douche Is J-a-s-o-n S-u-d-e-i-k-i-s

Rush Limbaugh would've been better judge.

Return Of Uncle Stinkfinger

Tonight our precious Ricky Stinkfinger will compete in New York's Air Guitar Championship. Pray and sacrifice people, this will be tough!

And Then a Hero Comes Along

Memorial Day really brings people out of the woodwork and then you have to reach deep down into your grab bag of bullshit and come up with things to talk about. Lucky for us, a lot of our friends see right through the baloney, like this guy, who forgoes all the "you-still-an-office-assistant-at-the-same-law-firm's" and the "did-you-hear-I-got-a-car's" and goes straight to "I'll-feel-up-anything-with-a-tan-line" in ten seconds flat.

Carrie

Went to a prom on Friday with this Carrie wannabe...

Looking for trouble.

Finding it.

This used to be my playground

Too many parties.

Its Music Video Friday!!!

BBQ music! Whats everyone doing tonight??????

Whats Sail on Sailor?

Last night Jack asked me what Sail on Sailor was - said he wasn't familiar. OHHH MAN. Sail on Sailor is:

- A Beach Boys song, but not a Beach Boys song
- About being wet and miserable
- A summer reminder
- A quit your job reminder
- A call your mom reminder
- A good song to stare into space to
- A slow motion song
- A song for Salty Dogs
- A reason to learn to play the piano
- A hard earned beer song
- A putting things in perspective song
- The best song of all time, my favorite song in the whole world.

Why This Blog Is A Service To You

On Christmas 2050, when you are sitting around your hologram fire place with your robot grandchildren and they ask you what you were like in your twenties, you can get on your invisible, levitating computer and pull up my blog and answer a few questions for them.

Grandma didn't always use a thermos to hide it:


Grandpa used to love the finer things:


So thaaaats why Uncle Nick went to prison:


Wasn't there once a movie about being born an old man?


Right after Uncle Paul proposed to Aunt Sophie:


Old Timmy Traynor was always an embarassing dad:


Grandma Krausey right before "the surgery":

This Little Light Of Mine

MAC IS DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL!!! He starts his official role as a narc for the SLA on Monday.

Go Ricki! Go Ricki! Go Ricki!

I signed up for the New York Marathon today because it was time....*


*This picture was not photoshopped.

Some Meager Shots

This was actually Sunday, so things were wrapping up. Pam didn't want to go to work. Everyone else seemed content despite some worrisome looks in this shot.
This is kind of a D- shot as well. You can't see but mew is holding a fat cat stuffed animal - perfect blog material, right? Wrong. Not when the black cat is up against the black jean jacket.

This is kinda Goldie-locksie. Third red chair from the left - juuuuuusssst riiiiight.

Check out PDogg's face!!!! So psyched! Now thats what I call tourism!

Drink up little mousey, its only noon.

You Gotta Treat Her Like A Lady

Its Music Video Friday!!!

I found this in an internet K Hole. Its about MATH! So naturally I love to hate it.

There is a line that goes, 'get your head around it, you have to think about it,' which is basically what I'm thinking every time I figure out tip on a bill.

OMG. WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS???

Kaaaaaaaatteeeeeeee. And this is how we feel when you're gone:

Some Religions

Buddhism was an obvious one and there were a lot of pagodas on the agenda. This Buddha here is actually in Angkor Wat and the people of Siem Reap worshipped him, so they maintained his appearance by changing out his orange sashes and updating his flowers.


The Cao Dai religion is like a cheap knock-off of the Baha'i faith. Their main symbol was a cross made out of little versions of all the gods they worshipped (like Buddha, Confucius and Christ, to name a few) and they were really into colors. The hearse they had parked outside their temple looked like a clown car and I took a million pictures of it, wondering when the parade was going to start before some one told me its actual purpose. When we walked inside the temple, two people were in there receiving "treatments" for their "head aches" that consisted of some Cao Dai volunteers poking various spots on their faces with high-end chopsticks. A ceremony was about to start and the participants looked like rainbow KKK members. I was confused, but I could tell some of the other Westerners I was with were thinking they had finally found a suitable religion that might cure their arthritis.

I prayed to this Deity multiple times a day to stay cool in the face-burning heat. The first prayer of the day was usually before noon.

This guy was on the TV every night. I could never tell what he was saying, but it was definitely a call to action and he always came on when I was alone, so I was worried no one believed me. That's why I had to take this picture.

Despite the fact that Christianity was only cool in 8th grade because you could go on snow retreats with other people's youth groups, international Christianity is kind of bad ass.

Monday's Reminder

Its Music Video Good Friday!!!

Remember how badass Gwen Stephani was in 8th grade? She made every one want to be Tank Girl on a skateboard with an all boy posse and a six pack.

Slow and Steady

We took a boat to Ha Long Bay in the Gulf of Tonkin. My mom brought binoculars. Brillz. She intended to bird watch but there weren't any birds. When she asked our guide why, he said it was because they ate all the birds. My mom probably went home and tore up her Audubon Society membership card after that.

It was only day 2 and Anna already had a rash. I told her itching was mental because only children are full of compassion.


Ha Long Bay has 3000 limestone mountains jutting out of the water. They were made when an earth quake shook the region thousands of years ago - but ask any local and they'll tell you the moutains were made by a dragon's thrashing tail as he flew down from the mountains to the sea. Uh huh. Oh Yeah, and! The difference between Eastern Dragons and Western Dragons is Western Dragons have wings and Eastern Dragons don't.

We got off the boat to go on a 'secret cave hike.' By the looks of the mouth of the cave, I thought we were in for a photo-op and then back to the boat for some more spring rolls, but then we descended into this massive hole:

All I could think of was that night we watched The Descent on the projector at north fourth and spilling red wine all over myself when the bat creatures first attacked.

Gross

There was a smell...

12 Hour Layover

Spent a lot of time here. Probably too much time, but I really feel like airports are judgement free zones.

When I ordered my food, I got this little cell phone like pager and went and sat down. It rang pretty fast and the song was really eerie - like an ice cream truck in the underworld.

This is what came from the cellphone ring! A little bit of everything!

Watched a bunch of these pull into the gates. This was pre-swine flu, so there weren't very many mask people de-planing yet.

I TOOK A SIX DOLLAR SHOWER HERE!!!!!! this bathroom was spotlessly clean. I actually think it was the cleanest bathroom I've ever seen. Never once did I think about all the business men who must have washed the prostitute juice off of them before heading back home to the wife and kids in Santa Rosa.


Look at this airport will you? It was like spending twelve hours in a greenhouse full of high end boutiques and couples that were dressed in matching Mickey Mouse shirts.

Let Us All Pray Together There Is Never A Cat Flu