Dear Mom and Dad,

New York is great. I have been making lots of new friends, experimenting with new foods and there is a Party Bus here! Thats right, a Party Bus - kinda like the school bus that used to pick me up at the end of our cul-de-sac, but with beer, black lights, sluts and Thin Lizzy. Anyway, I just wanted to write and let you know I am still getting my laundry and taxes done, getting lots of sleep and calling Grandma every Sunday.

Love, Your Only Child.