The Beach

I had a big trip this summer to Guatemala with Mac, Nick and Spencer.  LOTS of learning took place.

This town we stayed in was called El Paredon and the roads were actually just black sand paths.  We slept in a bamboo bungalow and turned into crazy people beneath a full moon on a black sand beach.  Spencer, Mac and Nick are the ultimate chillers.  When I was worried about when we would find the next bathroom and being extorted by cops, they were smooth sailing.  I wish I could powder them and put them in a pill to take whenever I feel too tight. 

I wrote about my trip to Guatemala in one of my writing classes and there were two Spanish speakers in my class who were shocked by the name El Paredon.  Translated, it means a firing squad wall.

 This is where all the magic happened.  Rum + Hammocks = CRAZY ACROBATICS!!!

This is was a bad dog.  It attacked a neighbor's baby chicken and the owner of our little camp whacked it with a stick and then used black magic to bring the chick back to life. 

This summer I saw a pink sand beach and a black sand beach.  Black sand beaches totally win.  That shit's dramatic!!

Ferry boat.

None of us could really handle this bird.  It was enormous and angry.  We danced around it taking pictures and being scared and then this little ten year old girl shows up and takes charge and made us look like big babies.  Guatemala is pretty street in that regard.

I like this picture because we all look so relaxed, but the truth was, we were being annihilated by mosquitoes.  Like, I think I recall Spencer run screaming back to our room saying he couldn't take it anymore.  Some how a rumor started that if you got one hundred mosquito bites, you die - so things were tense as our trip wore on...there was a lot of counting...

Look at them!  I'm sure I was kind of a nutcase to deal with - I'm not a dawdler and I like to stick to the plan, but I would go on another trip with these guys any time if they would take me.  This was a super special week.

The Biggest Losers

Check out the motley crew that assembled for the Belmont Stakes this year.  VIPs.  Couldn't think of a better crew - spirits were high, everyone was eager to gamble and no one actually knew what they were doing.  On the car ride to the race track we research how to bet on horse racing.  I feel like everyone was acting like they understood  it, but I'm guessing no one actually did based on the day's results.  Pictured from left to right - Chris, Brian, Tim, Paul, Jordan.

Our driver was great.  Paul latched on to him quickly and got his card.  When the stakes were over, Paul called him and he came and got us.  He seemed to like us but in hindsight I'm positive he thought he was driving a bunch of frivolous retards to a meaningless event.

 RACE FACE!

 Tim considering his options. 

Studying the guide, which was a text book of confusing symbols and numbers.  I trusted they knew what was up and at one point Paul, Jordan and I all bet on the same horses in a trifecta and lost 100 dollars between the three of us. 

 It was really rainy and Paul complained the entire time.  Paul, Deanna is a saint.

This orange lady was smoking a baby cigar and drinking bottled water.  I bet she drove her trailer up from Florida for this event.  Class Act.

I thought this was a joke, but when I got home I googled Jockies and its basically the most dangerous profession in the world.  

 I was sitting on this bench too and was extremely ill.   I couldn't stop coughing and was fighting multiple infections with anti-biotics (thanks restaurant work!) and at one point I slumped over and put my head between my legs.  Some stupid blond girls who were probably there looking for husbands passed by and saw me and laughed, 'LOOK HOW DRUNK THAT GIRL IS!!!!'  When you are twenty five, married with a toddler on your hip and one in the oven living in Gainsville, the joke will be on you, assholes! 

Honestly, this guy.  The day was NOT a success.  It rained and no one won money.  The drinks were extremely expensive and we ate raw chicken tenders, but Jordan shined like a little star through all the madness.  Jordan, I will go anywhere with you, whenever you want.  What a champ!

This Just About Sums Up My New Job

Vacation With My Mom And My Boyfriend

 Chris and I went to Bermuda with my mom.  We left from Newark (mistake) but got there earlier enough to indulge in my favorite, Terminal Food.  I would have lunch once a week at an airport if I could.

 Everything in Bermuda is brightly colored.  This is a storage unit.  What a beaut!

 Chris says this picture is proof that my mom and I look alike, but I think the jury is still out.  Pretty sure I was switched at the hospital.

 This little guy hung out in the bathroom of my mom's place on this fake rose.  At first I thought the lizard was fake too until it blinked at me.   Lizards are like the mice of Bermuda, but to me it was a stamp of authenticity that I was somewhere tropical.

 Bermuda's existence is kind of a miracle.  It was created by an underwater volcano that bubbled and bubbled until lava created formations on the water's surface.  From my understanding basically all these different phenomenons had to happen in order for this to occur AND it just happened to bubble up in the Gulf Stream.  So here is this tropical paradise, with zero natural resources and tons of ship wrecks just an hour off the coast of South Carolina.  Its pretty cool to think about.  It has the second biggest ocean research institute in the world, which makes sense.  Being a tourist in Bermuda made me want to reconsider my entire career.

 You cant rent cars in Bermuda, so we took the public buses everywhere which was extremely annoying.  Hands down the worst public transportation I've ever been on.  Bermuda is the size of Manhattan, but it takes well over an hour to get from one end to the other.  Boo Bermuda on that one.

 See?!? Shipwrecks!

 This is the world's smallest draw bridge.

 This is just to display the differences between myself and my mom.  We were hiking the abandon railroad tracks and she wore Serengetti safari gear, complete with a holster for her camera while I tried not to wear any clothes at all in order to get some color.  We all have a little tanorexia.

 Bermuda is filled with a bunch of old British people.  This is one of their buses from the motherland.

 Chris and Darby, two peas in a pod!

 This was called Tobacco Bay and Chris and swam here every afternoon - it was locals beach and we definitely didnt fit in, but it was nice to take a dip every day after a long bus ride.

 I didn't expect her to be there!

 No matter where you go, you will never escape cat people.

 TOURISM AT ITS FINEST!

Thanks Bermuda!

Camp Calamai

Mir Days

On Repeat Today