So So Good

Using A Camera Timer On Sharp Rocks

I never realized this, but recent events have lead me to believe, I'm kinda a klutz.  This is disappointing, but manageable.

Monday's Notes

Yuck.  Look outside.  I woke up lost and tried to stay in bed until it started to feel a little too indulgent.  Levels are low today.  I cry at inappropriate times during FNL and eat food that will turn me into Mischa Barton if I'm not careful.  See exhibit A:

The lesson in these lemon bars: Paula Deen recipes are inedible.  A dangerous amount of butter went into these and I questioned it as I folded it in. P Deen looks so fat and happy though - Right? WRONG.    These were for a housewarming party and I had to cut them into little one inch squares in order for them to be tolerable.  No one with normal taste buds and a normal waist line could really enjoy food of this caliber.  Sorry Paula - NEXT.

Rain, empty house, projects.  I want to learn how to make delicious sauces.  I never want to buy a sauce or a dressing in a jar or bottle ever again.  I want a job to land in my lap and my room to clean itself so I have time for other things like sauce mastery and frequent day trips.

Girls Don't Come Much Hotter Than This

Sandy....

Atkins Diet!

 

 

Old Teeth/New Teeth

I'm getting new teeth tomorrow at a marked down price.  I like sale prices, but draw the line on discounts when it comes to food, animals and prosthetics.  Cross your fingers that I don't come back with a vampire implant.

Arecaceae

Palm Trees!  I don't really know where to begin!  The world loves them!  I just got my film back from St. Lucia and literally, every picture I took there was of palm trees.  Imagine if our streets and parks were lined with palm trees instead of ratty New York generic trees. Margaritas and Mai Tais every day!

Guys, Whats Your Boyfriend Style?

Last night outside my window I listened to a girl hysterically crying while her boyfriend called her among other things, a moron and an idiot...all this because apparently earlier in the night, she called him ugly!  Were they hipsters? I will never know. The truth is, we all love a good street fight ever now and then...but seriously, DUDES! DONT LET THIS BE YOU!

Bye Bye Summer!

HOME.

I cant wait another minute to see you!!!!!!

My Face Plant Diary

I caught a foot on a rock at a Hood River camp ground two Sundays ago.  Morning of the accident.  Lunch meat face. Yes, those are stitches in the shape of a Hitler mustache.  Great.

I really wasnt looking like myself with the swelling and all.  I couldn't talk so I was alone with my thoughts and the Kardashians.  Revelations:

1. Kim Kardashian is worthless, but Khloe and Kourtney are diamonds of solid gold

2.  That guy from the Diving Bell and the Butterfly is a hero - there are no words for the frustration of being trapped inside

3. When camping always remember: FLASHLIGHTS

4.  MTV has horrible programming, but so does PBS

5. Weightloss - all it takes is a couple broken teeth and mild depression

I woke up Monday Morning, 8 days after my fall to this beautiful mug! Can you believe how fast a face heals?  I'm in the process of getting new teeth, but am really happy with how things fixed themselves quite naturally.  I think I could even apply for this job and get the gig:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/fbh/1934584830.html

BARTENDERS WANTED (Lower East Side)

MODEL LIKE BARTENDERS WANTED FOR ESTABLISHED LOWER EAST SIDE BAR. ONE MAN ONE WOMAN NEEDED. MUST BE SMART AND BEAUTIFUL. FORWARD RESUME AND PICTURE TO GET INTERVIEW. 

J - O - B

Its officially time for me to get another job. Or another source of income. Or just something that will pay October rent.  My talents include: Mastery of the written word,  Extreme list and goal making, hawk like focus on deadlines and the delicate craft of delegation.  Hidden talents include: Ability to cook an egg six different ways, cake decorating skills that date back to 1999, and a Pisces intuition.  If you or anyone you know wants to hire me, please let me know!!!

Back!

Hi New York! Hi Friends! I missed you!!!