Showing posts with label tear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tear. Show all posts

Friday, September 3, 2010

My Face Plant Diary

I caught a foot on a rock at a Hood River camp ground two Sundays ago.  Morning of the accident.  Lunch meat face. Yes, those are stitches in the shape of a Hitler mustache.  Great.

I really wasnt looking like myself with the swelling and all.  I couldn't talk so I was alone with my thoughts and the Kardashians.  Revelations:

1. Kim Kardashian is worthless, but Khloe and Kourtney are diamonds of solid gold

2.  That guy from the Diving Bell and the Butterfly is a hero - there are no words for the frustration of being trapped inside

3. When camping always remember: FLASHLIGHTS

4.  MTV has horrible programming, but so does PBS

5. Weightloss - all it takes is a couple broken teeth and mild depression

I woke up Monday Morning, 8 days after my fall to this beautiful mug! Can you believe how fast a face heals?  I'm in the process of getting new teeth, but am really happy with how things fixed themselves quite naturally.  I think I could even apply for this job and get the gig:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/fbh/1934584830.html

BARTENDERS WANTED (Lower East Side)

MODEL LIKE BARTENDERS WANTED FOR ESTABLISHED LOWER EAST SIDE BAR. ONE MAN ONE WOMAN NEEDED. MUST BE SMART AND BEAUTIFUL. FORWARD RESUME AND PICTURE TO GET INTERVIEW. 

Monday, June 7, 2010

Necromancy On Norman And Lorimer

My house is haunted and I need a ghostbuster.  Evidence of a presence has been amassing and then something happened yesterday that makes me think a presence is undeniable.

This all started almost exactly a year ago when I had that going away party for Sophie.  Remember that? Ok.  That morning, I woke up and was inspecting the previous night's damage to my face (wrinkles, redness, barf) in the bathroom mirror when I heard a piano playing.  The pianist was not playing a song, but rather banging on the keys then playing a snippet of a tune, losing interest and banging away again.  It sounded like someone who was trained to play the piano trying to practice but getting too distracted to do so. 

A few things ran through my mind.  One - I didn't know there was a piano in my building.  I live in a three story walk up, so I would argue my living situation is somewhat intimate when it comes to the residence's other tenants.  Secondly, I thought it was funny I could hear the sound so clearly where I was standing.  You see, my bathroom is in the basement and shares a wall with a garage and the building next door.  It has no windows, so having such a clear sound in such a isolated area seemed strange.

Night fell and the party began and as people came and went, my neighbor wandered in with his sister.  I handed them both a beer and then being the horribly boring drunk that I am, isolated them in the far corner of our living room and started my piano diatribe.  I explained the noise and how the nature of sound was weird and how the building was old and then followed up with the fact that I didn't realize there was a piano in the building.  My neighbor froze.  There was no piano in the building. 

Then he offered this tidbit: His roommate had been wanting to move out because he had seen a girl in his room.  In the middle of night, a change in temperature had woken him from his sleep and he rose to see a girl standing near his bed.

Shiver.

So its been a year of that.  The piano every now and then with the occasional footsteps over head.  I sleep in the basement below our living room, kitchen and dining room.  I remember clearly last fall being home alone one night and hearing someone doing what sounded like rearranging furniture upstairs.  When I snuck up there, defense weapon of a hammer in hand, I found nothing but my dinner's dishes in the sink. 

Honestly, I have no idea how I have managed to joke about it for a year without really freaking myself out.  Cursory research shows my house is on the Jacob Meserole family farm plot which spanned from Norman to Meserole on Lorimer and Manhattan Avenues.  There is no doubt in my mind a prominent family such as the Meseroles had a piano and maybe a young brood of practicing pianists.  However, without hitting some serious archives all I have is geeky message boards on the web which honestly are so weird its kinda alienating.  But I think I may finally have the motivation to do some digging after yesterday's incident.

I was home doing some studying in my bedroom and got up for a break.  I went into the bathroom and the piano was at it again.  When I first used to hear the piano, I would pray that whomever was playing it would break out into 'Benny and the Jets' or some other contemporary song.  This would confirm that I was right, sound was indeed weird and came from odd places and that I just had gay neighbors that liked sing alongs.  But I have only ever heard older, sort of jig style music being played.  So yesterday, when I was in there listening to an upbeat rag, really I just ignored it.

Next I went upstairs and ran into Nadja, my roommate, and made a joke about the ghost piano.  She laughed, it was casual and I got a glass of water and went back downstairs.  I think I was probably out of my room for ten minutes total but when I returned to my room, someone had lifted my mirror from my dresser/vanity area and laid it on the floor.  Some logic:  had the mirror fallen two things would've happened.  One, it would have disturbed the contents of my dresser, which remained in place.  Two, wouldn't it have broken?  The final oddity to this story is I have a picture tucked into the frame of my mirror that is constantly being blown out of its position at the slightest gust of wind or air.  But the picture lay completely unmoved in bottom left hand corner of the frame of my mirror now on the floor.  There is no way the mirror could've slid off my dresser.  The only way it could've gotten into its new position on the floor is if it had been lifted and then set down again.  Double Shiver.

 Immediate research ensued and a search of 'signs you have a ghost' turned up the following:

1. Strange noises - piano, furniture moving, footsteps - CHECK

2. Sightings - girl upstairs - CHECK

3. Moving objects - mirror - CHECK

4. Weird animal behavior - this is interesting.  I didn't indicate this above, but I live with a poodle that will be resting and then out of nowhere will be spooked into a barking tantrum for which there is no anodyne.  I always thought it was just the realm of poodle-dum that made Rex behave so erratically, but now I'm thinking maybe he occasionally gets disturbed by something or SOMEONE.  so - CHECK

Anyway. I want more information but I don't want to piss off any presence (if there is one).  I feel like in scary movies, 'research' into the haunting always aggravates the already restless spirits and as soon as you do some digging that's when the shit really hits the fan.  I don't want to lose any hair, sleep or friends over this, but it could be a really fun summer adventure.  Does anyone want to ghost bust with me?  Maybe we could have a seance the next time my cheese of the month shipment comes in - you bring the baguette, I'll bring the psychic?  Spin the bottle with the ghost? Do you think the ghost is reading this right now? Ugh. Terrifying.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Marrakesh Express


Mac is going to Morocco tomorrow for TWO WEEKS. Bye Mac!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Is It Too Late To Be A Cowgirl?


When does the city phase end and the cowboy phase start? I'm ready for a field, a lap slide and a bucket of oats.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Take A Good Look Because You Wont Be Seeing This For A While

Liz is going to England tomorrow, so none of us will be getting any blow jobs for the next two weeks.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Some Meager Shots

This was actually Sunday, so things were wrapping up. Pam didn't want to go to work. Everyone else seemed content despite some worrisome looks in this shot.
This is kind of a D- shot as well. You can't see but mew is holding a fat cat stuffed animal - perfect blog material, right? Wrong. Not when the black cat is up against the black jean jacket.

This is kinda Goldie-locksie. Third red chair from the left - juuuuuusssst riiiiight.

Check out PDogg's face!!!! So psyched! Now thats what I call tourism!

Drink up little mousey, its only noon.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

OMG. WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS???




Kaaaaaaaatteeeeeeee. And this is how we feel when you're gone:

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

RIP Yahmon



The other day I went over to the Lost compound and the fish tank was empty.

Monday, January 19, 2009

RIP Wing Nut

The cat I got when I was SEVEN died today at the ripe old age of 18. RIP Wing Nut.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Call To Action: Help Me Boycott the Dunkin Donuts in Sunnyside Queens



This business discriminates against cats! We must band together and take our iced coffee money elsewhere!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Why Must I Cry?

Take a good, long look cause we won't be seeing the likes of this kind of care-free footwear for another nine months.